Greg: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
by juil8991mc
Summary: In this episode Greg gets tons of detentions and he has to use his excellent excuses and brainstorms, alot of cool scenes, including a dramatic one. All the diary of a wimpy kid stuff is not by me, its by jeff kinney, this story is by me for fanfiction PS: There are more characters. PPS: You might need some glasses or something, not to be mean, but you might lose where you were.


_Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Greg's Mistakes._ Meant for fanfiction.

I am very sorry if i have done a mistake and if this should of been in alot of chapters, but i dont know what to do about that, I looked in the rules and i cant find the button for it, I am also new, and this is my first ever made-up story. Inform me in the reviews or comments if this is meant to be in alot of chapters, i tried my best although. After I upload this and it lets me do the chapters, i will remove this message, thank you.

_ALL THE ILLUSTRATIONS AND CHARACTERS AND THE OTHER ETC. STUFF ARE BY JEFF KINNEY, THIS IS A MADE UP STORY OF DIARY OF A WIMPY KID, CREDIT TO JEFF FOR THE ILLUSTRATIONS I EDITED_

MONDAY

_After that horrible experience from that long haul we had before, I decided to take my chances and _ _pick one option from the Key of Soak Central Water Park. So, before i had 3 or 4 options in_ _the last diary I had. I didn't know if i should of told the truth, let Rodrick take the blame or Flush this._ _I have decided to find this out later, because i'm nearly late for school, it's 8:34 and i missed the bus_ _so i have to take a car. I go down to eat breakfast, not in a rush, because i have plenty of time, I only_ _missed the bus. It's not like I missed 2 periods. Anyway, I eat my Cheerios while hearing Manny_ _speaking Spanish? Oh, I remember in the long haul he helped out these two people, well it was_ _mostly the opposite. Hang on mom's talking. She's asking us whats going on at school. Before i can jump up to tell Mom MANNY says some long word in SPANISH, which puts me off. Luckily Manny attracts Mom over to her to clap for him and cheer for him for learning the long word, so I don't have to tell Mom about school, nothing much happens anyway. Now its 8:36, why am i even mentioning the times? Anyway, I finish my Cheerios and go ask Dad and Mom if they can give me a lift to school. They say the bus will come soon. I have to remind myself how Mom has an elephant's brain when she doesn't know the bus already passed by. I tell them (I have to) that the bus already drove past us. They say that the bus didn't drive by yet and it comes at 8:30. I tell them its 8:39 but they tell me that its ACTUALLY 8:29 and that i got the time wrong. Which means I have to go out for the bus. Rodrick's asleep and is missing his school, well i think he has college. Anyway, sure enough, our school bus drives by like it just ate a huge chocolate bar that makes it hyperactice. It's bouncing and really fast, I wonder if the person driving it even knows how to drive? No time to think myself, I run and jump in the bus and realize that... I am the one making MISTAKES, because the bus is ACTUALLY drifting off because of the other people's heavy shoes, ignore what i just said, that makes no sense. I open my school bag and the PIG jumps out! I FORGOT about that pig we had in the house from the long haul, that pig that BIT me. I dont know how it got inside my bag, but there's no time to explain, my pig is causing CHAOS. Biting all the legs and going on the bus, I have to hide inthe bus and pull a kids hand up with my hand when a driver asks whos pig it is. I hope that kid who i pulled his hand up should be grateful for me giving him credit he had a really fascinating pet. (he doesn't) And also some credit for him getting detention for the very first time._

_TUESDAY_

_Today I came back home from that detention I had at school, they actually make you stay for ONE DAY in there, so they installed some beds. Maybe i should get myself in detention more often to sleep on those comfy beds. But i'm worrying the teachers are going to remove them now. Anyway, I got in detention because that chompy pig came inside the SCHOOL ROOF. That was really crazy. It fell in like a rocket suddenly came back from space, everyone was shrieking. I have no idea how my pig got there? I found out that when the bus driver had the pig, he chucked it high forgetting that it had an owner. I had to catch it so it didn't die. Well, the teacher should of THANKED me for having 10% of rescuing people and animals. But that wasn't that got me in detention, the thing that did was that when she asked who's pet it is! It OBVIOUSLY was mine but i didn't raise my hand, suddenly the kid who i made raise his hand had told her that I was RESPONSIBLE for that pig. The pig chewed the bookcase too, which made half of my Mom Bucks be given to the teacher. Luckily she did not suspect they were play money. Mom put the Mom Bucks thing again and made sure that I didn't take some from other places. Now I wonder if she has TWICE the elephant's brain, because I never told her that I took it from another house, she just discovered them. Anyway, Rodrick is banned from these Mom Bucks because he is actually CHEATING. He gives his friends who are really polite and neat he hates a disguise so they look like Rodrick cleaning up. Then a cap suddenly fell and Dad discovered the whole thing. Manny, on the other hand, actually has Mom Bucks too, just for going to the potty by himself. He actually has struck it RICH with the other money from his swear jar. Anyway, I got back home and Mom wonders why I wasn't here in ONE day. I kept my mouth shut, because I didn't know if i should of said the truth, or should of said I was at a sleepover. Mom wondered about the pig too. I put it in a lunch bag, I'm going to get a new one. Anyway, I was grounded for no video games 2 weeks, and what makes it worse is that Rodrick is putting me in bad positions. He blames everything on me, Which is getting prettty annoying, but he has another embarrassing thing to hold over me. I can't write much, it's 10:24pm, I have to stop now, Oh and one last thing, that pig is starting to speak SPANISH too, this world is turning upside down. That might explain why the pig and manny make a great couple, and by couple I mean a couple of friends._

WEDNESDAY

_I went over to Rowley's house today, because no school today. I haven't mentioned him loads, but I do know is that he's kind of a 3rd grader. Every day I show up at his house he asks me the same thing: WANT TO PLAY? _ _I have told Rowley alot that you are supposed to say hang out instead of play but he always forgets. He DEFINITELY has no elephant brain, because once i hypnotized him into him always having to say Hang out instead but he forgot. Anyway, we played Twisted Wizard while Rowley suddenly said something that made EVERYTHING change._ _Rowley has a GIRLFRIEND. He never told me anything that has to do with dating but now, here he is admitting he has a girlfriend and rolling on the floor like an upside down turtle._ _I ask him who he is, and he says it's.. DRUM ROLL..._ _HOLLY._ _It was like the pig bit my heart. You have to admit, he was boring being a bachelor. But when i once told him to get a date, I did not mean HOLLY. Well, maybe he didn't choose her, maybe she chose him or maybe did it on purpose or accident or randomly or because her date broke up. Imagining the thought made me feel like i had to vomit. _ _I told Rowley I had to go and ran home.I could not believe ROWLEY would steal holly like this. Maybe he might be joking, wait, what if he is with an even prettier girl if he was joking? Well that would be a bit good so I could take Holly._ _So that's sort of out and in the list at the same time._ _I had to put Manny to bed, now he's speaking weirder and weirder,He gave me an idea for my plan to get Holly back from Rowley. It will work and be better and better. He's speaking spanish. He will steal Holly by his impressive language and she will be impressed by Manny and i'll say he's my brother and we will be in love. Easy Peasy. Dinner is roast chicken. Dad is keen on his own dinner but Mom is not. Mom was wanting to make dinner but dad wanted roast chicken. So it was vegetables vs roast chicken. In the end it became roast chicken and vegetables, which was a bit of a shame, because i was counting on roast chicken to win._ _It's nearly bed time and Rodrick is playing his drums with Ward. Ward is Rodrick's friend. The two of them are like cute pe- WHAT am i talking about? They are not even cute. They're pretty lame if you ask me. Count the difference with Rodrick and Ward. There is Rodrick, who slept for a long time and nearly flunked out of school AND misses some college days on purpose. There's Ward, who's the same as Rodrick, so the answer is really that both of them are lame. Time to sleep, Manny can still be breathing these spanish words which i can hear around my bedroom. This is freaking me out. I have to remember he's my plan man and listen to these yet, It's suffering to hear these spanish words, BUT he might be my only hope to get Holly back to me and away from Rowley. Lets hope i am not doing this for nothing and just doing this to hear Manny's spanish. Now seriously, i have to sleep._

THURSDAY

_Today at school I secretly put Manny in my duffel bag from home. It's a bit odd to bring a duffel bag, but that way they will already think thats the only odd thing I have instead of Manny. I told on him to PROMISE not to tell Mom, I didn't threaten him because I was worried he wouldn't speak Spanish. I searched for Holly. And guess who she was with?_ _Rowley, he did look like Rowley though._ _I had to put Manny in action. I put him on a leash and made him say the long Spanish words. If he could do it, I would give him the candy I will buy for a week. He had a booger out of his nose that flung away which i took as a yes. Anyway, Manny was saying those words and suddenly Holly moved and then I saw someone with ROWLEY'S hair, I knew it was Rowley, so i let Manny do his work and went in front of him and said SURPRISE! He was not Rowley. And he was not dating Holly. He was just NEXT to her locker. Chirag lives close to her locker too. Then suddenly the two of them are wondering what i'm doing bringing a kid from pre-school and saying SURPRISE in front of her friend. I wanted to tell her if she meant BOYFRIEND but i was worried that she would not become mine. So I just had to fess up. That kid went to tell a teacher. So I ended up hiding in the boys bathroom. Manny fell in the TOILET. I had to go out to the school without anyone noticing me which was not easy, considering everyone was in the hall to applause some people. He was about to get run over by a car but luckily, at that moment, it became dramatic, the PIG jumped into the window and went in slow motion behind Manny flying and he suddenly turned and saw the pig and I had to quickly go into the shattered window to get them both. I had to hide them in the bag. And unluckily, because of all of this, I had detention. Unluckily, there are NO beds. Which is not going to be good. Rowley was joking the whole time. He sneaked a note in my bag. At least in my bag Manny and the pig were having a good time. I wonder why i am friends with Rowley when he put me in this HUGE mess. Now he ruined my life. Well, that is what I think. I still have some chances to make everything normal. Now I have to wait for the next day, and for once, I am GLAD to be away from home, because today after school RODRICK said he would pay back me for something I did. Yesterday I took a picture of him while he was wearing a girls hat checking the sizes. Well, I should escape or take this detention. What I can really do is just escape. I jumped out of the shattered window and placed a note on my desk in the headmaster's writing saying that I had been given 1 extra hour gone. It unluckily was almost 5 o'clock and Mom would get me with another BAN. Now since i hate Rowley I cant, or in other words, wont go to his house to play video games because of this. On the back I quickly mention that I am not responsible for any of this writing. I luckily had good timing. Today in school i asked some huge guy to write his name on a piece of paper so I could show everyone how cool I am hanging out with 10th graders. Well, believe it or not, I had an idea and next to his name I wrote in his handwriting that he was responsible for this writing. The bad news is that the popularity didn't work. What is lucky is that the teachers did not see it or they would know that I escaped and used it as my plan. Anyway, he will get in trouble, now to go through the shattered window when the teacher isnt looking, I go quietly but then manny and the pig ruin everything. They start screaming with love because they are so close to each other. Before she suspects, I throw a plush doll that looks like me on the chair and I aim correctly, and go out and run to my house. Hopefully the next day it will go away. Mom sees I am late and wonders where MANNY is. I say I will answer the question after I use the bathroom. I empty Manny and the pig in the bathroom and tell Mom that he was found in the bathroom and he found the pig in the showers. My plan safely gets me off the hook. For once, I can thank Rowley for this epic action movie._

FRIDAY

_Mom received a call today, saying that I had someone tiny and a pet pig at school today. Mom knew it was MANNY and the pig. She marched up to my room right away and told me why I escaped detention and bring manny and the pig. I suddenly thought of excuses, But its clear i had no choice because manny told mom aswell. And plus, the pig made some noises in my bag, which made my teachers think i farted. Now i have 5 weeks of a video-game ban, well, i had 2 video-game week ban and a 3 video-game week ban so i have 5 weeks. No school today because I got suspended for one day. Oh and, remember that plush doll? I mistakenly got the wrong one because I was in a rush. So now the teachers wondered what Flat Stanley was doing in the detention? Anyway, I have to stay in my room. I have a secret phone, I can call holly to get my love back up, but i dont even know her number. How about Rowley? Nah, I'm a bit mad at him and plus, he's boring. Rodrick? 1 word. WHY? He lives in this house and he never answers my calls and hes dumb. I should stop listing these stuff of who I can call. Now in my room I am bored. I am wondering how to get out of here? When I get an idea. I call Chirag, he's an expert with plans. I tell him how to make Mom make me get out of my room and forget this. Unfortunately, He did not know THAT. I wonder why they call him an expert with plans anyway. I actually miss Sweetie. If he still lived here I would have something to do because he sleeps here. Manny knocks on the door. I let him enter and he suddenly gives me a tinfoil ball and leaves. The tinfoil ball has some scribbles and he finally learnt to write some words. "I AM SORRY YOU'RE STUCK HERE" Well, it looks like Mom's handwriting. Remember when I said the pig can speak spanish? Well, guess what. Mom by mistake went to get FRENCH CDS instead. Now they learn half spanish half french, which technically makes it a new language, SPRENICH. Tomorrow I have church. GROAAN. I am bored. Lil Cutie came in today, And today it was really horrible._ _I just had nothing to do, so i played Net Kritterz, it turns out it was a good timing, because there was a contest. And whats good is that now I found out the password, it was a SPANISH one, I had to bribe Manny for it. I got told off but it was worth it, big time. this was what i really did, I played net kritterz, I ate and went to sleep._

SATURDAY

_Today was church, and as usual, it was boring. It was in a foreign language so I just had to listen there staring into space. It was getting pretty boring too. After we had the peace be with you I did not know what to say back, so I was pretty embarrassed. I just said the normal english way. But that was not good. Everyone was pretty angry, It turns out you have to speak LATIN only. This was a stupid church. It was a new one, where everyone was forced to go by an evil guy. Anyway, after church I went to play net kritterz but mom stopped me and told me that I had to look for a new Flat Stanley since last time he flew out of the van. I didn't know why she told me that when I was just going to do Net Kritterz. She was definitely confusing me. I decided to just draw a flat stanley and give it to Mom then use Net Kritterz. It turns out that MANNY has done something to it. He has changed my username. He's pretty smart, he also destroyed my computer so Net kritterz is definitely over. I have to buy a laptop, and i am stealing from his swear jar, I definitely do not CARE if I get told off, but its for my OWN good. Oh and, remember at the end of the long haul? Where they lost their mobiles and credit cards? Well, remember that key? I decided to tell the truth. And they actually seemed shocked and drove there right away. They came back with their stuff. It looks like they have four mobiles and four credit cards now. 2 for mom and 2 for dad. same goes for credit cards. Now everything has gone back to normal. Except for THREE words_ _FIND YOUR FRIEND._ _Well, I have Rowley, Don't i? But he's out on holiday IN the school year, which seems really odd. I have Ben Fielders too, but he's a traitor now. He stole Holly one year ago, But i fixed it, It involved me getting a detention, but it was worth it. I had to punch Ben so he wouldn't take Holly. Luckily, holly was not seeing that time. Then he went to a faint. He woke up and didn't die luckily, And he forgot about Holly, because i apparently gave him some AMNESIA. That gave me that detention. I have 11 detentions now. I think now I'm gonna be the guy with most detentions. Atleast i'll be a bit popular with this. Those three words were given on a van driving past. Wait, I CAN FIND MY FRIEND! I can search for one in those van stuff. But they were out. I decided to play on the new laptop I sneaked. I had to run away to get it. I remember once I had to run away from Mom when she was going to take me to the dentist, But i found out that Tender Carers was not bad. But what is bad is that now DAD switched dentists. Rodrick used to run away too, but one time he stopped when Mom changed everything, she told him that she would get Rodrick a drum set for when he stops running away, when he was 9 he got his first drumset. __Manny should have a trophy for running away loads, that KID is running away alot of times. He has ran away for atleast 12 times. That's my estimation. More than my detentions I have got. Well, now I have to play with Manny as a chore. Mom will give me mom bucks for that._

SUNDAY

_It backfired on me when i tried to play with Manny, it always does. I Imagined that he was inside a witch's cave. And i pretended to be the wizard and he screamed and he punched my laptop and it fell, guess what. I HAD IT. I had to punch him and he cried. Then Mom came and.. its harming to say, but to make a long story short, I was grounded from video games. I think its a world record I didn't play video games for 5days straight. Well, if you count Net Kritterz as no video game. Anyway, I decided to head up to Rowley's house to confess. He was back from Italy, he was there for 2 days. He visited Rome and Milan, thats what he told me after he had a great smile that made me embarrassed. _ _It's hard for me to get interested in other people's holidays, mostly because I don't want to listen to them. I am almost out of papers. So I should make this an end. I have 2 more papers. Anyway, Me and Rowley played Twisted Wizard when we went outside to do something and something happened. There was a really cool ice cream truck with popsicles in it that we really liked. Then after that it got better. There were people in airplanes singing and Spanish people. Then it got bad. We realized that CALIFORNIA was turning into part of SPAIN. We have to fix this. I was joking around. Of course that doesn't happen. Well, Rowley is pretty gullible but I won't spoil his fun. It's hard to make a happy ending but you can see I'm out of paper so I guess that this is a finish of a great tenth book and_

_THE END._

_i did hard work in this so please read this :(_ _If Rodrick gets hold of this tell me._ _once again, THE CHARACTERS AND CAST AND THE IDEA FOR THIS BOOK WAS NOT BY ME, CREDIT TO JEFF KINNEY. This book was meant for funfiction._ _One last thing, This is sort of a prediction and some suggestions of book 10 if Jeff sees this or some guy who can tell him once he sees this._ _bye._

_-Greg_

_Rowley and me are re-united._

_PPPS: With the detentions and Manny and everything I am becoming popular at school. Sometimes good popularity sometimes bad._

_(EVERYTHING IN THIS BOOK IS NOT ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE, ITS ABOUT GREG'S)_


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